Personal agency is defined as believing a person is responsible for their thoughts, feelings, and actions and they have no power or influence over others thoughts, feelings, and actions.

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Many of us feel out of control in our daily lives. With work, kids, relationships, a global pandemic, and a country that feels like it could collapse at any second, it is impossible to feel like we have any control over what happens in our day to day lives.

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Lack of control and personal agency can lead us to feel overwhelmed, and cause us to feel aloof and disconnected from our lives. Taking back our personal agency gives us a sense of security and helps us feel more connected to our experiences. .

 

Take back your personal agency with these 7 tips from the Greater Good Magazine:

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1. MANAGE YOUR EXTERNAL ENVIRONMENT

• Put down your phone, go for a walk, and remove yourself from the overstimulation of daily life.
• You are likely experiencing lack of attention caused by multiple distractions. A quick 15 minute walk outside can bring your focus back to where you need it.

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2. BE SELECTIVE WITH WHO YOU SURROUND YOURSELF WITH

• We absorb the emotions of those around us. Find others that shed positivity and light on your life and it will likely culminate a similar feeling in you.
• Set boundaries for yourself. It is ok to say “NO”.

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3. GET MOVING

• Exercise and nourish your body with whole foods!
• It is said that exercise can lead to greater self-control; if you’re struggling with impulsivity and goal attainment, exercise is a way to train your brain into stick with long term goals rather than turning to short-term gratification.
• Even if you are working long days and don’t feel like getting in an intensive hour long workout, do some stretches every hour or so, get up and do some jumping jacks, or take a walk around the block. Just move!

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4. SET A GROWTH MINDSET

• Let yourself be open minded, curious, and non-judgmental.
• Acknowledge that there is always room for you to improve, and that you are a continual work in progress.

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5. RECOGNIZE AND RESPOND TO YOUR EMOTIONS

• Take a moment to pause when you feel an extreme emotion, such as anger with yourself, or overwhelming sadness.
• Ask yourself questions and self-reflect. Often what we are feeling is much more than the current situation we are experiencing and could be tied to a subconscious trauma or emotion.
  • Listen to this episode of Mom, Slow Down! to hear more on how you can take a deep dive into your emotions with Heidi Straub.

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6. INTUITION – USE IT

• There are three types of intuition: immediate intuition, strategic intuition, and expert intuition.
• We are all familiar with immediate intuition; this kind of intuition is used for making first impressions, or assessing social situations, also known as “gut feelings”. These can be useful when utilized correctly, but can also be clouded with bias and prejudice.
• The second kind of intuition is strategic intuition; this kind of intuition is more long-term and thoughtful. Strategic intuition can help with solving problems at work or deliberating a big decision. If you’re stuck on something and can’t get your thoughts in order, step away for a bit and do something completely unrelated – like running, showering, or watching TV, and the idea may just avail itself out of thin air.
• The last form of intuition is expert intuition; this is much more difficult version of intuition and is developed through years of practice. Expert intuition is used mainly in emergency or high stress situations. By allowing the unconscious mind to take over, you are able to execute the task at hand without intentionally thinking through each step of the process.

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7. THINK THEN DO

• If you are making a big decision, like where to move or how to improve your marriage, take some time to deliberate with yourself. Ask yourself questions and give yourself time to think through the stakeholders of the decision.
• Avoid making decisions that are based around strong emotions and give yourself the freedom to make mistakes and reevaluate later on.

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Find ways to incorporate these practices into your life. Are you making decisions that are going to help you feel better in the long run? Are children yelling for you at all hours of the day, distracting you from every task on your to-do list? Are you acting out of anger, excitement, or grief? Do you struggle with impulsive actions that you later regret?

Having agency is all about taking responsibility for your actions. By deliberating, acknowledging, pausing to reflect, and realigning your personal path, you are creating more influence over your own life. Don’t overthink it!